"Why I Always Care..."

When there's a question coming to me of "why i always care"...

so these are my answers..

----

Because that's the real me.. the only thing makes me comfortable...

as when i say "I love", means giving my very best... especially 'I love because of Allah,"...

It hurts sometimes... surely enough... it makes me relief each I know that there are lots of thing I could do for my dearest ones...
as I believe..hope is never faded when we believe so....

The hurt feeling is much better for me,... the ignorance of people I care, I love, after all I've done is much better for me, then the feeling of guilty.. when I do nothing.. while there are lots of things I could fight and I could try....
And the worst is to have such kind of regret... of not only the losing of the opportunities to do lots of things... but to see our beloved persons dig their own holes while I am just watching... and let that happen.. miserable feeling will be unavoidable... and I'll sink deeper into our own pain..

I stand still someday.. when I do nothing...
but I'm not in my way of giving up.. nor giving in...

I just need to pause... so i could gather lots of energy.. more and more...
only to fight even harder than before....

Beginning..

      If I could write down everything I see, in every bright, blur, dim, and dark light, for every detail appears, every color appeals, every beauty occurs, surely I would have no enough ink nor paper to do so. Even when I type it, I'll get too exhausted, as there will be so many things to write. 

      This is only to put some things, that may remind me of every important moments, every precious time I've passed, whenever and wherever I see.

       If I could record every sound and voice I hear, or those that are not spoken, every word, sentence, whisper, sneeze, music, lyric, chatter, laughter, joy, happiness, sob, grief, or even when I'm in silence, when i hear nothing at all, surely i will have no enough CD, DVD, cassette, microchip, net-book, or whatever it is, to save all. this is only a brief reminder of whatever happened to me.

      Also if I write and record whatever passed by my other 3 senses, what I taste, I smell, I touch, I will never have enough time, tools nor equipments to do so. Either if i describe whatever I feel and I experience.. there will be no day to rest.

      But I do believe, this would help me a big deal as I have poor memory of my past..

--------

Life.. 

so complicated.. yet.. so precious

Life..

so mysterious,.. only Allah know the flow..

There're times when I feel things aren't the way i want and i hope to be

everything looks so complicated, so impossible, and so high to reach..
And I feel like just giving up..

But I know then, that i gotta be strong..
there must be another way

as i understand that life is worth fighting

anyway,..isn't it life fighting itself..

as the promise of the sun to rise in the east every morning, I know that each time I see it, there's still a hope..

for a better and brighter future..

for a wonderful life..